Self-judgment and how it's derailing your progress
My son came home from his first day at a new school this week. His teacher had them draw something they did this Summer. My kid drew chickens. Chickens dust bathing, chickens eating, probably chicken pooping. Instead of laughing, or being happy that my kids are so connected with animals and really loving their new pets, acknowledging that their ability to care for animals and be responsible has unleveled, I was disappointed in myself.
I wanted my kids drawing to be of some epic mountain adventure through Thailand or of canoeing the Fijords of Norway, or even of backpacking the White Mountains near where we live. I wanted him to draw a picture of sleeping under the stars or drinking out of a coconut, or rock climbing some crazy cliff.
What this reaction showed me was where my heart is at, where my future goals are for my family are, and most of all, where my self-judgment lies.
When we judge ourselves, we’re doing a few things.
We are blocking a higher vibration from happening
We are telling ourselves we’re not good enough
We are stopping healing
If you are serious about self-growth like I am, then looking at how, when, where, and what your self-judgment looks like is a powerful and necessary tool in moving forward.
Let’s step back and look at the roots of self-judgment. Often it shows itself when our Ego is trying to get involved. Ego can be saying “You know better” “Why didn’t you show up for your family in this way”
You KNOW how to have adventures, so why aren’t you.
Think back to being a little kid for a second. When an adult, authority figure says to you “what were you thinking?!” or “You should know better” “Why didn’t you do XYZ” What is wrong with you?
How did you feel? How did you react? Let me know when the lightbulb hits. Our natural response when someone speaks to us like this is to shrink, to step out of our power, to hide, to turn away. To be smaller. OR, to get self-righteous, to get angry, to do more of the thing that we were railed on for doing.
Neither of these gets us to do what we’re “supposed” to be doing.
IT’S THE SAME THING WITH YOURSELF. The way you treat and speak to yourself is no different than speaking to a child you care about and want to encourage. Think for a moment about an adult who spoke to you with respect when you were young, who asked you questions calmly, who encouraged you, who inspired you.
You want to be better in yourself when you’re around this person.
So, why not do this for ourselves? I have heard my colleagues say that “Self-judgement is the Ego’s first line of defense”
This is 100% true. And your Ego does not have your best interests at heart.
In my own life, I pivoted this sucker; asked myself AND my kiddo what they wanted their drawing to be of NEXT summer.
We may not quite be at the Norwegian Fijords yet, or on an unassisted biking trip around Thailand, but we are working to get there. We are growing and healing and step by step walking our path, lead by our intuition and our creative spirit.
Curious, what do you want your drawing to be of next year? Drop-in here, say hello, and set the intention.
Blessings,
CORRINA